Well, another few months has gone by and I have put so little love into this blog.

It is not intentional; I have been busier lately than I have been in the last few years. Plus, writing is still work for me. I had hoped to hit the point where I didn’t feel like this was work and my idea of a good time would be sitting down and typing out stuff. I am taking a break today, watching the snow, listening to some Christmas music and catching up on other blogs (probably why I am feeling inspired to work on mine).

I came across an op-ed piece on Ars Technica called “Stop pretending there’s a difference between ‘online’ and ‘real life’” and my first reaction was “Yes there is!” I read the opinion piece anyway, just to see what the author had to say on the topic. In a great twist of irony, the author used one of my own arguments to support this idea that “online” and “real life” are the same thing. I am an online gamer and I have been saying for a while now that our choices in the game matter. If you, as your character online, have a choice between good and evil, you can’t keep picking the evil choice and pretend that doesn’t affect your real life. Choices matter and choices make us who we are.

It is time to take ownership our choices.

Take this post for example. Instead of saying “I have been too busy to blog”, I should be saying “I haven’t made blogging a priority”. That is not be harsh…it is just a more honest answer. I have the same 24 hours of time that I had before and the same 24 that everyone else does. I just chose to spend them differently. Now, let’s be gentle with ourselves because I don’t want anyone using this idea to beat themselves up, but when we gently recognize the honest reality that comes with owning the choices we make, then we can start to make different choices.

This idea goes beyond the pop psychology/self-help rhetoric that is often attached to it. During the past presidential election cycle, the two major parties each put forth a candidate most voters had major ethical issues with voting for. I heard it frequently during the weeks and months leading up to the election: “I feel like I have to vote for ________ because_______ is so bad”. Each side talked about the other as if it was a moral imperative to vote against them.

It seemed like very few people wanted to “own” their choice. They didn’t want to think about voting for a third party candidate and they didn’t want to think about the fact these candidates came out of the primary voting process and perhaps that was a sign that it was important to get involved in the process well before the general election. Most people just felt like they were powerless and they “had” to vote in a particular direction for a particular party, if not directly for that party’s candidate.

We have to stop pretending that we are “forced” into a bad choice. We made the choice and we have to take ownership. “Accepting” our choice doesn’t cover the depth of responsibility we need to take. Even good decisions will often have painful parts to live with. Taking ownership means we have thoroughly examined the options, we fully understand why we are making the choice we are choosing to make, and we are ready to live with the consequences.

Our choices make us who we are.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that we live in a fallen world and that we might only have a bad batch of choices to choose from, but the only way we feel empowered again is when we recognize that we are not trapped, we do have a choice, and we are making the best choice for us.

If you hate your job, but you don’t quit because you need the money, feel good about that choice. You have chosen to provide for yourself and your family and it is a gift to have your basic needs met. If you want or even need a bigger house, but don’t buy one because you can’t afford it, you can celebrate. You avoided a huge problem that many families have, which is too much house with too little money, and that is something to be grateful for. You might not like the choice you made, but it was your choice to make.

It is time to stop feeling trapped.